A Tool Kit for Holiday Joy

links, suggestions, inspiration

Update: I’m sharing this again in 2024, so the items below will be lightly edited to update some links here and there.

We’ve been tackling some heavy personal stuff lately here in the Blue Room, and what’s also true is that I love this time of year. It’s a season of contradictions, no? The days grow short, leading us to want to hibernate, while our to-do lists balloon. There can be lots of family/interpersonal togetherness, and also holy moments of solitude. It’s holly jolly and bleak midwinter, hark the herald and midnight clear. This year I’m trying to embrace it all and savor as much as I can.

For those of us who celebrate the preparatory season of Advent, this Sunday is Joy Sunday, also called Gaudete Sunday… although our congregation moved Joy Sunday to last week to correspond with our “Tidings of Joy” festival of readings, scripture and song—check it out, you’ll be so glad you did, it was glorious. (And 2024 me says: Sunday, December 15 should be glorious as well! Livestream.)

In the spirit of Gaudete, today’s post is a grab-bag of joy. In no particular order, some thoughts, suggestions, inspiration, and readings. 

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Grounding thoughts: my friend Ed Goode ruminates in Substack Notes on whether we can “choose joy,” and I chime in with a comment. 

Frances Wattman Rosenau offers some strategies for these shortened days and cocooning temps (in the northern hemisphere, anyway). We can stay centered and present “no matter the weather.” 

And this article in TIME from a few years ago is just as current as it was then: Fourteen Ways to Squeeze More Joy Out of Every Day. 

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Music corner: I’ve got a playlist for you! Some seasonal “joy” songs, plus a couple of extras thrown in for added spice. Access my Gaudete playlist in Apple Music or Spotify. The playlist includes the Josh Ritter song Joy to You Baby, which reminds me that last year, I rewrote some of the lyrics for us to play at our Longest Night service. Check them out here.

Speaking of music, the Hannah Waddingham special Home for Christmas is pure Christmas serotonin. You can enjoy it as is, or read this interview in which she explains all her warm personal connections to the guest performers, adding a lovely layer to the proceedings.

“F*** she’s amazing, let’s invade the North Pole.” (If you know you know.)

I love all kinds of Christmas music, and will even defend songs and lyrics that my fellow pastors like to malign in the name of theological correctness. For example, people love to hate on Mary Did You Know as insufferably mansplainy. To which I say, have you never heard of a rhetorical question? Even Jesus used them. 

I do love this shirt though. Source.

And how about the second verse of Away in a Manger? My liturgical siblings like to tut-tut over “the little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes” as sentimental pap that denies the full humanity of Jesus. I get it. Baby Jesus probably got diaper rash, and grown-up Jesus got food poisoning. He was a person. He felt hungry at times, and homesick and humiliated and even horny. 

Yet whenever I sing “no crying he makes,” I remember my youngest as a newborn, who cried like most infants do, then got very quiet and looked up at me, and Robert, and all around the room for the longest time. It was hushed and perfect. So yeah. We’re never too old to experience awe, but we’re never too young for it either.

So I’m not here for yucking anyone’s holiday yum. Like the music you like! (Or no holiday music at all if that suits you.) 

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How about some time looking up? As this letter hits your mailboxes or Substack app, I’ll hopefully be sleeping in after a late-night stargazing date with my youngest in a dark-sky area about an hour from our home. The Geminid meteor shower is happening (2024 info here) the most abundant shower of the year, and it’s not too late to take a peek. My eldest randomly saw one while driving around Fairfax a couple of nights ago. My father-in-law used to have a practice, after commuting home from work, of looking up at the sky before going inside for the evening. I love that.

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Traditions connect us to our past, yes, but they also reduce decision fatigue this time of year, making room for joy and presence. While I enjoy combing through cookbooks and finding new gems, and I can’t wait to try these Mexican hot chocolate cookies (no paywall), I also love the comforting familiarity of treats I make without fail. I’ve made these buttermilk pralines for almost thirty years now and don’t think I’ll ever stop:

1 cup brown sugar 
2 cups granulated sugar 
1 cup buttermilk 
1 tsp baking soda 
2 tsp vanilla extract 
2 Tbsp butter 
1 1/2 cup pecan halves

1. Line the counter with parchment paper, or wax paper with paper towels underneath (otherwise the pralines will melt the wax paper onto the counter, causing the pralines to break when you pry them up. Of course this causes all the calories to fall out, so do whatcha gotta do.)

2. Combine all ingredients except the pecans in a 6-qt saucepan using a wooden spoon. Cook to the softball stage (240 degrees), stirring constantly.

3. Remove from heat and stir in pecans. Keep stirring for a minute or so, then spoon candy onto parchment/wax paper in small puddles. Honestly, the only tricky part of this recipe is knowing when to pour. Pour too soon and the first few will be sticky caramel. Pour too late and they sugar up in the pan (although they still taste delicious). You basically want to pour when the mixture is juuuuuuuust starting to lose its glossy sheen. (Here’s a couple homemade videos showing when to pour, and what they look like after.)

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Studies show that doing things for others can bring us great joy and meaning. We’re doing all the usual things this year–exchanging gifts, making donations in honor and memory of others–but I’m also giving people the gift of books.

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What I’m Up To

This week I shared another video for supporting subscribers, a favorite coping strategy for stress and anxiety. (2024 me removed the paywall!)

Steady on, friends.