Seriously...My wife Amy and I still go back and forth about our summer Hebrew class. I took it for a grade, she took it pass/fail. I studied like crazy, going over flashcards at breakfast, etc. She did just enough. I got put in what our prof called "the gunners" precept and she was in one of "the survivors" precepts. She got her P. I got my high A. And now, several decades later...do either of us remember significantly more Hebrew than the other? Nope.
And in response to your question about the 75% thing...I think there's some truth to that. However, there's the living with comparisons that plays into that - feeling like I am a slacker if I am not at the church or doing church stuff until 6pm or later. Of course, I did a funeral today on my day off...so...
Oh the flashbacks! 😳 How helpful were Bible Trivia and the Standard Ordination Exams to my ministry? Not very. What made the difference? Mentors, colleagues, experience (learning by the seat of your pants!) to name a few things. As C. S. Lewis once said, “Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn, my God do you learn.” Thanks for the trip down memory lane! Now I’m going to find a cup of coffee before attending a retreat in Atlanta 😉
The 75% effort is the secret to my success in one particular area. My younger faster running friends always marvel at a guy my age (66) who runs over 70 miles per week but never gets hurt. The number one rule is I never give max effort. Of course there are nuances in circumstances when 100% effort is a must but for a lot of things, enough is really enough. Thanks for the sage advice, MaryAnn.
Yes! As a trained running coach (currently inactive) I would bang the drum on this all the time. Most recreational runners do their easy runs way too fast. In addition to the injury risk you mention, people end up working anaerobically, which is not where most of your energy comes from in any race beyond the 5K, and even the 5K is like 93% aerobic. If you want to get faster (and not everyone does), run slower, with targeted speed workouts. Matt Fitzgerald's 80-20 running was a game-changer for me.
I wish you were on the East Coast, new running friend! I'd tell you to come out to Salisbury MD to run the Pemberton 24 in September. A 5K every hour for 24 hours, or as many as you want to do. (I did 12 last year and hope to do 15 this time) Themes/costumes each hour, camping/chill atmosphere, and running. (Or walking, actually--time doesn't count unless you're trying to place. As long as you're at the start line at the top of the hour, the lap counts.) It's an exceedingly well run event and my happy place. Registration is this evening and I've got like 4 reminder alarms set 🤣
One of the tenets of my writing is that running is a metaphor for life and life is a metaphor for running. It's amazing how many times I find this to be true. I usually make it out to the East Coast every other year to visit my in-laws who live in South Portland, Maine. I love visiting the East Coast but being a SoCal native I couldn't deal with the snow. The Pemberton 24 sounds intriguing. I just did a 12 hour event in December. I was hoping for 50 miles and squeaked in 17 3-mile loops for 51 miles in 11:57. Ultras are my thing so maybe one day an East Coast ultra would be on the calendar.
This is so me. I was the valedictorian of my college graduating class and I never get to tell anyone! 🤣 I think I'm going to like it here in the Blue Room. 💙
As an overachieving slacker, I find that the part where we actually talk about “what success looks like” super helpful. I definitely nailed the BCE at 70. But aiming for what I thought was B or C work in seminary often yielded A’s.
There’s the bar/rubric in my head & the one in the evaluator’s… and without clarity going into the project, well, it’s hard to calibrate effort and outcome with expectations.
Apply that to the real pastoring world, where everyone has a different rubric for what the pastor does/is, and I am forever over- and under- and whelming people with my efforts in any given aspect of the role. That’s fun. 😏
And. The best I can manage on any given day within the constraints that day brings is always going to have to be good enough (even if it’s not the best I could ever manage).
I have a coaching client who is also a 3, and we were talking about this topic yesterday. She reminded me that 3s are more comfortable cutting corners than 1s are. You have that going for you. But yes, the so-called Achievers can fall prey to this too.
Wow! I got a 68 on the BCE the first time and a 73 the second time. Thankfully, I did much better on the next 4 ords. I appreciate this perspective. And, as a 1, I continue to remind myself of the wisdom my mom (a DCE herself) passed along from her supervising pastor. After a glowing annual review she expressed her surprise at the positive feedback and disappointment in herself. He assured her that she was likely the only one who knew she could have done more. No one missed the one more center she had originally planned to have at the workshop. No one noticed that she didn’t spend a little extra time on that one lesson… so let go of it and be okay with good enough. I have to remind myself of that all the time. And I still think that if I do that I’ll end up with the 68 instead of the 73- close, but still falling short.
In related news- I chose “gentle” for my word this year.
Yeah, that's the risk, isn't it? It's hard to know where the "world's okayest" line of demarcation is, and sometimes you fall short of where you want to be. I'm sure retaking it wasn't your favorite. And yet, what a good pastor you are. It mattered not one whit in the end.
And OMG, I love your mom's perspective. It's why "do your best" has never been a good/comforting message for me. The "best" in my head is eons beyond what I'm able to do. But it's a yardstick nonetheless. Trying to let it go. Gentle is a great word for us!
Oh a memory rides in me before finishing my coffee!! Statistics-required in pharmacy school. Courting a solid A average but could not wrap my brain around stats and barely makjng a C-. My mom told me D was fine- no one would care-go to bed! She was so right! No one did. Great career in corporate healthcare and hired other people who loved Excel!
I like to think and do in terms of optimizing rather than maximizing. A small difference in words and a large difference in my life results. Elizabeth strikes me as an optimizer. (Could not resist the comment) :)
Reread this before going on to what was posted today (5/3). Reminded me of a personal experience in my late twenties…I had created an informative poster about a church event…all the info was there, it was easy to read but as an eclectic personality I had not been symmetrical nor overly concerned with letter formation. The leading elder in my congregation assured me I had not offered God my best, therefore God would judge me negatively.
Now, in my seventies, I still struggle with the need to offer perfection (from someone’s point of view) rather than being present as myself. Thank you for your musings and sharing.
Ouch. Seems like that person's feedback failed the is it true/is it kind/is it necessary test. In fact I'd argue they were 0 for 3... so sorry. We carry those with us for a long time...
This also reminds me of something my sister-in-law’s medical school professor told her: “B = MD”
Haha that's great!
(feeling seen)
Seriously...My wife Amy and I still go back and forth about our summer Hebrew class. I took it for a grade, she took it pass/fail. I studied like crazy, going over flashcards at breakfast, etc. She did just enough. I got put in what our prof called "the gunners" precept and she was in one of "the survivors" precepts. She got her P. I got my high A. And now, several decades later...do either of us remember significantly more Hebrew than the other? Nope.
And in response to your question about the 75% thing...I think there's some truth to that. However, there's the living with comparisons that plays into that - feeling like I am a slacker if I am not at the church or doing church stuff until 6pm or later. Of course, I did a funeral today on my day off...so...
Gunner and survivor... the angel and devil on our shoulders. Which is which though? haha
Oh the flashbacks! 😳 How helpful were Bible Trivia and the Standard Ordination Exams to my ministry? Not very. What made the difference? Mentors, colleagues, experience (learning by the seat of your pants!) to name a few things. As C. S. Lewis once said, “Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn, my God do you learn.” Thanks for the trip down memory lane! Now I’m going to find a cup of coffee before attending a retreat in Atlanta 😉
Enjoy (or hope you enjoyed) that wonderful city!
It was a lovely retreat facilitated by Carrie Newcomer 💖🎶
The 75% effort is the secret to my success in one particular area. My younger faster running friends always marvel at a guy my age (66) who runs over 70 miles per week but never gets hurt. The number one rule is I never give max effort. Of course there are nuances in circumstances when 100% effort is a must but for a lot of things, enough is really enough. Thanks for the sage advice, MaryAnn.
Yes! As a trained running coach (currently inactive) I would bang the drum on this all the time. Most recreational runners do their easy runs way too fast. In addition to the injury risk you mention, people end up working anaerobically, which is not where most of your energy comes from in any race beyond the 5K, and even the 5K is like 93% aerobic. If you want to get faster (and not everyone does), run slower, with targeted speed workouts. Matt Fitzgerald's 80-20 running was a game-changer for me.
I wish you were on the East Coast, new running friend! I'd tell you to come out to Salisbury MD to run the Pemberton 24 in September. A 5K every hour for 24 hours, or as many as you want to do. (I did 12 last year and hope to do 15 this time) Themes/costumes each hour, camping/chill atmosphere, and running. (Or walking, actually--time doesn't count unless you're trying to place. As long as you're at the start line at the top of the hour, the lap counts.) It's an exceedingly well run event and my happy place. Registration is this evening and I've got like 4 reminder alarms set 🤣
One of the tenets of my writing is that running is a metaphor for life and life is a metaphor for running. It's amazing how many times I find this to be true. I usually make it out to the East Coast every other year to visit my in-laws who live in South Portland, Maine. I love visiting the East Coast but being a SoCal native I couldn't deal with the snow. The Pemberton 24 sounds intriguing. I just did a 12 hour event in December. I was hoping for 50 miles and squeaked in 17 3-mile loops for 51 miles in 11:57. Ultras are my thing so maybe one day an East Coast ultra would be on the calendar.
It's often hard to recognize "enough" but it feels pretty damned good when you do!
Might have to do that Enneagram, just for the chuckle . . . ;)
I’ve been wanting to do a class at Trinity…
So very true!! Thanks for this reminder of what matters!
Thanks for reading, Mary!
This is so me. I was the valedictorian of my college graduating class and I never get to tell anyone! 🤣 I think I'm going to like it here in the Blue Room. 💙
Well let me be the first to congratulate you 👩🏻🎓 🤣
From one pursuer of gold stars to another--welcome!
Have you seen the movie Booksmart? I haven't, but from what I've heard about the plot, it may be exactly what people like you and I need... lol
Haha! I haven't seen it. I'll have to check it out. 😉
As an overachieving slacker, I find that the part where we actually talk about “what success looks like” super helpful. I definitely nailed the BCE at 70. But aiming for what I thought was B or C work in seminary often yielded A’s.
There’s the bar/rubric in my head & the one in the evaluator’s… and without clarity going into the project, well, it’s hard to calibrate effort and outcome with expectations.
Apply that to the real pastoring world, where everyone has a different rubric for what the pastor does/is, and I am forever over- and under- and whelming people with my efforts in any given aspect of the role. That’s fun. 😏
And. The best I can manage on any given day within the constraints that day brings is always going to have to be good enough (even if it’s not the best I could ever manage).
Laura, what can I say... I just love the way you put things. And I love our 7-1 Enneagram connection. Waving from the other side of that arrow...
As a 3 (on the Enneagram - not out of 10) this is helpful to read
I have a coaching client who is also a 3, and we were talking about this topic yesterday. She reminded me that 3s are more comfortable cutting corners than 1s are. You have that going for you. But yes, the so-called Achievers can fall prey to this too.
Relatable... lol: https://tapas.io/episode/427055
Rule #1 is we don’t admit to corner-cutting
Wow! I got a 68 on the BCE the first time and a 73 the second time. Thankfully, I did much better on the next 4 ords. I appreciate this perspective. And, as a 1, I continue to remind myself of the wisdom my mom (a DCE herself) passed along from her supervising pastor. After a glowing annual review she expressed her surprise at the positive feedback and disappointment in herself. He assured her that she was likely the only one who knew she could have done more. No one missed the one more center she had originally planned to have at the workshop. No one noticed that she didn’t spend a little extra time on that one lesson… so let go of it and be okay with good enough. I have to remind myself of that all the time. And I still think that if I do that I’ll end up with the 68 instead of the 73- close, but still falling short.
In related news- I chose “gentle” for my word this year.
Yeah, that's the risk, isn't it? It's hard to know where the "world's okayest" line of demarcation is, and sometimes you fall short of where you want to be. I'm sure retaking it wasn't your favorite. And yet, what a good pastor you are. It mattered not one whit in the end.
And OMG, I love your mom's perspective. It's why "do your best" has never been a good/comforting message for me. The "best" in my head is eons beyond what I'm able to do. But it's a yardstick nonetheless. Trying to let it go. Gentle is a great word for us!
Oh a memory rides in me before finishing my coffee!! Statistics-required in pharmacy school. Courting a solid A average but could not wrap my brain around stats and barely makjng a C-. My mom told me D was fine- no one would care-go to bed! She was so right! No one did. Great career in corporate healthcare and hired other people who loved Excel!
Love it! As I’ve heard it said, C=degree. My GPA has been pertinent to my work life exactly Zero times.
I like to think and do in terms of optimizing rather than maximizing. A small difference in words and a large difference in my life results. Elizabeth strikes me as an optimizer. (Could not resist the comment) :)
What’s funny is that I am too, often! But there’s something about tests that pulls me in. Love those terms, Bob, very helpful.
Reread this before going on to what was posted today (5/3). Reminded me of a personal experience in my late twenties…I had created an informative poster about a church event…all the info was there, it was easy to read but as an eclectic personality I had not been symmetrical nor overly concerned with letter formation. The leading elder in my congregation assured me I had not offered God my best, therefore God would judge me negatively.
Now, in my seventies, I still struggle with the need to offer perfection (from someone’s point of view) rather than being present as myself. Thank you for your musings and sharing.
Ouch. Seems like that person's feedback failed the is it true/is it kind/is it necessary test. In fact I'd argue they were 0 for 3... so sorry. We carry those with us for a long time...
I happen to think God delights in you! So there.