What To Do, in Four "Easy" Steps

wisdom from Jesus, and Rebekah’s mom

This past Sunday we finished up a worship series at Trinity called The How of Jesus, exploring the manner in which Jesus moved in the world and pursued his ministry. As activist Valarie Kaur likes to say, “The way we make change is as important as the change we make,” and Jesus seemed to care about that too. He was a teacher, preacher, and healer, but just as important as what he did is how he did it—humbly yet boldly, with an open heart and courageous convictions. So our question in the series was not WWJD—what would Jesus do—but How do we follow the way of Jesus in our modern world?

You can view the sermons by my colleague and me here, but in a nutshell: The first week focused on the power of curiosity and openness. The remaining four weeks took up what Enneagram teacher Suzanne Stabile calls the Four Mantras. We explored how Jesus embodied each of them: 

1. Show up

2. Listen

3. Tell the truth

4. Don’t be wed to the outcome (which we reframed as “Let God handle the outcome”)

I haven’t been able to trace the provenance of these statements, but they seem very twelve steppy to me, the serenity prayer in four simple-but-not-easy stages. I first heard them from a colleague in seminary, so I’ve always called them Wisdom from Rebekah’s Mom.

What is it about a checklist that feels so grounding? I’ll be the first to point out that life is much more complicated than many of the bumper-sticker platitudes that pass as wisdom. Still, when things feel chaotic and uncertain, there’s something clarifying about going back to basics: just do this. James Clear likes to say we don’t rise to the level of our goals, we fall to the level of our systems. Whether we’re worried about a loved one’s scary mammogram or dealing with a recalcitrant teenager, show up, listen, tell the truth, and don’t be wed to the outcome is not a bad action plan. (Looking for a practice for the season of Lent? You could do worse than the four mantras.)

A few learnings emerged for me as we collectively worked through these principles together:

• You gotta do them in order. If you haven’t taken the time to show up—to silence the distractions and be truly present—you aren’t in any shape to listen. And let’s be honest: when someone opens their mouth in stage 3, we can tell if they’ve truly listened first, or whether they were simply waiting their turn to say the thing they already had locked and loaded. 

• One mantra helps inform the next. As a pastor, we’re routinely called upon to accompany people in sensitive or intense interpersonal situations—a deathbed, a marriage in crisis—and going in, we often don’t know exactly what we’re going to say or do. (I would even say, if we go in with a rigid game plan, we’re doing it wrong.) The four mantras offer a comforting reminder: all we have to do is take the next step. That’s improvisation, the power of yes-and. Be present, and tune in; the next steps will usually reveal themselves.

• Most of us have the biggest trouble with the last one. What can I say? I get it. My word for 2024 is freedom, and when it comes to mantra 4, letting go, that’s freedom at its finest, but also its most harrowing. If I’ve done what I can, I can release my efforts into the universe and trust that I could have done no more. But it’s also scary to admit how little we control. 

This worship series lent itself to additional reflection, so we put together a series of “Going Deeper” guides, shared as bulletin inserts. I’ve adapted them slightly for the Blue Room; you can find them here. Enjoy.

Your Turn

• What do you notice as you consider the four mantras? 

• Which one(s) come most naturally to you? Which one(s) are a struggle?

~

What I’m Up To

• I’m preaching this Sunday at 10:15 a.m. at Trinity Presbyterian Church, Herndon, in person or online.

• Celebrate with me:

The contract is signed. Book #4 is super-duper official! Not ready to talk about it yet, but you’re in the right place if you want a front-row seat for that process. (Supporting subscribers get more of the backstage pass. Members and friends of Trinity Presbyterian, Herndon are eligible for complimentary subscriptions—just ask.)

• Speaking of which, this week’s article for supporting subscribers asks the question, why are we so drawn to apocalyptic, end-of-the-world, disaster stories these days:

Steady on.