These are wonderful MaryAnn. If you had asked me these questions 10 years ago I would have answered differently, but because I have been practicing active listening for a while now, it's almost automatic for me to sense when to go into that mode of "just listen, quietly, deeply." But, the pastor in me has a hard time with letting it go. My own personal question that I ponder all the time is, "What else can I do?" I admit, that in times past I realized after the fact that I cared more for a person's life than they did. Those are the moments that are hardest to let go of.
Oof, that last bit. I have coached many pastors trying to revive dying churches, and that was exactly it--they cared more than the congregation. Not healthy.
Exactly. There are several reasons why I'm an ex-pastor and mental health is one of them, but thankfully my capacity to love, to give and receive has not diminished but actually given a chance to bloom. Thank you again for your wonderful work MaryAnn.
It’s easiest for me to show up, and next steps are mostly hard. Process for me has always felt very rigid, where there is no room for freedom to wing it or be in the moment. It’s to planned. But I believe you when you say the best route is following the steps in order. But I have to return to them out of order at times, it seems, slow learner that I am and when someone calls me out and causes me to self examine.
These are beautiful mantras and a wonderful framework to carry into lent. I wasn’t feeling drawn to any particular reflection/fast this year but I think I will hold these prompts close.
I first heard the four "easy" steps on a communal discernment retreat in 2007 in a presentation by Sister Helen Cahill. They have stuck with me ever since.
Thank you for the mantras. I needed them today. I am in the midst of a church fight over welcoming the homeless who are seeking the sanctuary of a parking space in our church lot where they can avoid harassment or arrest for trespass, and indeed, number four is the hardest.
I have an idea of why apocalyptic stories are so popular right now. The flip side of the end of the world story is that it is a tale of resilience amid impossible odds, and that resonates. When my dad died, years ago, I was inextricably attracted to “A Series of Unfortunate Events“. It took me awhile to make the connection: the stories were ridiculously miserable, and so was I, but they turned out alright in the end.
Similarly the hero/anti-hero is story about how circumstances have pushed someone into a situation where playing by the rules will make it impossible for them to survive and stepping out from under the rules and conventions of society, even if it compromises morals, opens a way to freedom and life (messy and complicated as it may be). For many people who feel that life’s pressures are just too much, that may be an appealing fantasy-although like you, it doesn’t appeal to me.
I find your messages a blessing. I appreciate you. I thank you for what you do, and I thank God for who you are.
First of all, congratulations on the the contract for Book #4!
Your mantra process makes a lot of sense to me and this phrase especially resonates with me: “I would even say, if we go in with a rigid game plan, we’re doing it wrong.” I knew plenty of chaplains in the Air Force who would bring their “patented bag of tricks” to each assignment and then wonder why they didn’t always work like “they had always worked before.” They forgot the nuance of mission, environment, and the changing nature of our military members experiences. What worked in the 1970s or mid 1980s wasn’t going to necessarily going to work in the 1990s or early 2000s. That plus the mission of each individual base was different.
Thanks for sharing Jesus and Rebecca’s Mom’s wisdom! Have a blessed Lenten journey.
MaryAnn, I hope it's okay for me to reference this piece in my post and prompt tomorrow. It's stayed with me all week, and I finally figured out what I want to say about it. Thank you!
These are wonderful MaryAnn. If you had asked me these questions 10 years ago I would have answered differently, but because I have been practicing active listening for a while now, it's almost automatic for me to sense when to go into that mode of "just listen, quietly, deeply." But, the pastor in me has a hard time with letting it go. My own personal question that I ponder all the time is, "What else can I do?" I admit, that in times past I realized after the fact that I cared more for a person's life than they did. Those are the moments that are hardest to let go of.
Oof, that last bit. I have coached many pastors trying to revive dying churches, and that was exactly it--they cared more than the congregation. Not healthy.
Exactly. There are several reasons why I'm an ex-pastor and mental health is one of them, but thankfully my capacity to love, to give and receive has not diminished but actually given a chance to bloom. Thank you again for your wonderful work MaryAnn.
Oh I keep forgetting, Congratulations on the recent book contract!
Thank you so much!
It’s easiest for me to show up, and next steps are mostly hard. Process for me has always felt very rigid, where there is no room for freedom to wing it or be in the moment. It’s to planned. But I believe you when you say the best route is following the steps in order. But I have to return to them out of order at times, it seems, slow learner that I am and when someone calls me out and causes me to self examine.
This is so helpful. Thanks MA.
These are beautiful mantras and a wonderful framework to carry into lent. I wasn’t feeling drawn to any particular reflection/fast this year but I think I will hold these prompts close.
Me too!
I first heard the four "easy" steps on a communal discernment retreat in 2007 in a presentation by Sister Helen Cahill. They have stuck with me ever since.
Show up
Listen deeply
Speak your truth
Let go of the outcome
The word "deeply" adds a lot to these. Also speak *your* truth. Thank you Mike!
Thank you for the mantras. I needed them today. I am in the midst of a church fight over welcoming the homeless who are seeking the sanctuary of a parking space in our church lot where they can avoid harassment or arrest for trespass, and indeed, number four is the hardest.
I have an idea of why apocalyptic stories are so popular right now. The flip side of the end of the world story is that it is a tale of resilience amid impossible odds, and that resonates. When my dad died, years ago, I was inextricably attracted to “A Series of Unfortunate Events“. It took me awhile to make the connection: the stories were ridiculously miserable, and so was I, but they turned out alright in the end.
Similarly the hero/anti-hero is story about how circumstances have pushed someone into a situation where playing by the rules will make it impossible for them to survive and stepping out from under the rules and conventions of society, even if it compromises morals, opens a way to freedom and life (messy and complicated as it may be). For many people who feel that life’s pressures are just too much, that may be an appealing fantasy-although like you, it doesn’t appeal to me.
I find your messages a blessing. I appreciate you. I thank you for what you do, and I thank God for who you are.
Thank you so much, Serena... You make a lot of sense. I think you're right!
First of all, congratulations on the the contract for Book #4!
Your mantra process makes a lot of sense to me and this phrase especially resonates with me: “I would even say, if we go in with a rigid game plan, we’re doing it wrong.” I knew plenty of chaplains in the Air Force who would bring their “patented bag of tricks” to each assignment and then wonder why they didn’t always work like “they had always worked before.” They forgot the nuance of mission, environment, and the changing nature of our military members experiences. What worked in the 1970s or mid 1980s wasn’t going to necessarily going to work in the 1990s or early 2000s. That plus the mission of each individual base was different.
Thanks for sharing Jesus and Rebecca’s Mom’s wisdom! Have a blessed Lenten journey.
Amen to this! Thank you Michael...
MaryAnn, I hope it's okay for me to reference this piece in my post and prompt tomorrow. It's stayed with me all week, and I finally figured out what I want to say about it. Thank you!
Absolutely. Let er rip! 🤓💛