When in Doubt, Be Like Phoebe.
This article was sent to the Blue Room newsletter last week. Subscribe if you’d like to receive articles like this directly to your inbox.
~
I was talking to a colleague recently, an associate pastor at a large multi-staff church. We were discussing Holy Week and how in the past, she’s helped plan several of the worship services that happen that week. This year, for a variety of reasons, her only official area of responsibility is for the sunrise service on Easter morning. (Can I pause here and say how thankful I am that I never had to do an Easter sunrise service? I know they are deeply meaningful and symbolic for those who participate, but… that’s a tough gig. As one pastor I know used to say, “Sunrise? Heck, I don’t even believe in God until at least 9:30 a.m.”)
Anyway, this friend was feeling a bit shunted to the side, with only this small sliver of responsibility. But as we talked, I felt her come around to embrace the opportunity to bring her full focus and most creative self to this one event. There was freedom and openness to help that gathering be as meaningful as possible. At this point I blurted out “Cups and ice!”
Thankfully my friend had seen the old Friends episode in which Monica and Phoebe set out to plan a surprise birthday party for Rachel. In Monica’s typical manner, she ends up taking over, with lots of fancy details. When Phoebe complains, Monica gives her a tiny bit of responsibility: cups and ice for the party.
Phoebe being Phoebe, she embraces the paltry job with her usual quirky aplomb. She makes cup hats, cup banners, and cup chandeliers. She provides several kinds of ice, including dry ice (mystical!) and snow cones.
You can watch the whole sequence here.
This is improvisation at its best: starting with a limitation and approaching it creatively, working within the constraints so the end result is the best it can possibly be.
Now… I share this bit of wisdom, knowing it doesn’t feel like enough. This weekend is two years since lockdown, and two weeks into the invasion of Ukraine by Russia, an event some experts say could shape geopolitics for a generation to come. Like many of you, I’m heavy-laden with grief and worry. Meanwhile there was a new climate report, and it’s not like that situation is getting better.
Still, I stick by the focus on cups and ice.
There’s a moment in the video above, where Phoebe seems ready to argue with Monica–Why can’t I have a bigger role? We were going to do this together!--but she stops and says, “OK, I will be in charge of cups and ice.” And you can tell she gets it. Rather than try to change an unchangeable thing, she makes the most out of what’s hers to do, and she does it in that inimitable Phoebe way. (She really is the best Friend.)
Of all the stuff going on right now, almost none of it is in my control. This is so unfortunate, because I am reeeeeeally good at controlling stuff. Just watch me go! But there’s no getting around the fact that my job is cups and ice at best.
All I can do with my little corner of the world is make it beautiful, and hopefully kind, but always me.
I’m glad we’re in this together.
~
What I’m Up To
--I’m so thankful to everyone who sent me your pre-orders for Hope: A User’s Manual! I’ve made a donation to World Central Kitchen for their Ukraine efforts as a thank you and a pay-it-forward. It’s not too late–share your pre-order receipt via email and I’ll make another gift next week.
--New episode at the Blue Room podcast: Free Guy, Two Years of Covid, and Playing the Right Game.
--We had a fun Hope Notes conversation on Tuesday about Station Eleven and the power of story in apocalyptic times. You can watch it for a limited time here:
Passcode: %*!jn0q3
--Join us at the March 29 Hope Notes for Parable of the Sower, with special guest Patrice Gopo.
~
Link Love
When is a meme not just a meme? On Putin and his comically long table.
~
To receive articles like this directly to your inbox, subscribe to the Blue Room.