Karaoke As a Spiritual Practice

“freedom watch,” part 5

I chose a guiding word for 2024—the word freedom. I’m reflecting on the word freedom regularly in the Blue Room, to see how it’s guiding and challenging my life, with hope that these explorations will guide you into greater freedom as well! 

Part 1: freedom means accepting difficulty but reducing misery
Part 2: freedom means doing nothing extra
Part 3: freedom means not fighting with reality
Part 4: freedom means less preparation, more presence

A few weeks ago, Robert and I headed to a restaurant in our neighborhood for a late Saturday night dinner. This place has a beautiful outdoor patio, but it was raining, which meant grabbing seats at the bar. As elegant as the outdoor seating area is, with its plush couches and generous umbrellas, the interior is the exact opposite–a real dive-bar vibe. Still, it was cozy, with lots of TVs playing various sports games. 

Right as our food arrived, a couple TVs went dark for a few minutes, then the name of a song flashed, and soon after, lyrics swept across the screen. We swiveled in our seats to face a short blond woman, a few years older than I, belting Blondie’s “Rapture,” complete with proto-rap near the end. 

Blondie was followed by a bespectacled Asian man singing Elton John, then a balding bearded man in a vest crooning the Eagles. 

We’d unwittingly stumbled into karaoke night. 

Haven’t gotten up the nerve to try “Let It Go” like Rebecca did…

I love to sing, and have done so my whole life, officially (choral ensembles, onstage) and unofficially (in cars and showers). My earliest childhood answer to “what do you want to be when you grow up” was pop star, and for a number of years, Preacher Camp has involved at least one, if not multiple, nights of boisterous singalongs. But I’ve never been to a karaoke bar, because you don’t go to karaoke unless you’re going to do karaoke, and that always felt a little too earnest for me. Too committed.

BUT. If you suddenly find yourself in the middle of karaoke, You Can’t Not Karaoke! 

I’m totally hooked now. Been back again, poring over my calendar to plan my next return, perusing song lists and creating playlists. 

And, because I’m me, I’m reflecting on just what it is that makes karaoke feel so good. What elevates it to the level of a “freedom watch” entry? Here are just a few tidbits and life lessons gleaned from dive bar karaoke. Use this list to encourage you to give it a try… or, to find places to play in your own life:

“Do, or do not. There is no try.”

Listen to Yoda! Karaoke is a pass-fail activity. The quality of the performance is pretty irrelevant—getting through it is the victory. And a lot of life is like that, no? We recovering perfectionists are always working on taming the inner critic, and karaoke’s a pretty good vehicle for that. You’re up there for like four minutes tops, there’s no record of it to scrutinize when you’re done, and everyone else will have their turn too, leveling the playing field. So just jump in.

Karaoke is [life] improv at its best.

At the Second City, which trains all kinds of people in the skills of improvisation, they teach that good improv is built on a foundation of mutual support: giving one another gifts onstage, having one another’s backs, and matching the other person’s enthusiasm with your own. In that spirit, we each take our turn at the mic, and everyone else offers friendly applause and whoops at the end. 

They’re really not watching you that closely.

Are you familiar with the spotlight effect? That’s the idea that we think people are noticing us way more than they are. Even at karaoke—at least in this place—people are nursing their drinks and talking quietly with one another. Some of them aren’t even facing the stage as you sing. Rather than feeling dismissive, it creates a sense of safety. Insulation. Don’t mind me, I’m getting in touch with my inner Adele. As you were…

Sing YOUR song.

If you can carry even half a tune, there’s a song out there that suits you. One of my favorite performances the last time I went was the married couple that owns and runs our local tattoo place. They did a duet of “Love Shack,” which matched up with their skills perfectly. She can sing pretty well, and he… well, he did a great Fred Schneider and had so much joie de vivre that it brought the house down. 

Let yourself be carried along.

The words are all there, and they appear right as you need them. All you have to do is follow. 

There’s grace in the reverb.

You know why we sing in the shower? Because the acoustics are really forgiving in there! Karaoke setups are similar, with enough echo to make pretty much anyone sound decent. In real life, it’s easy for me to judge myself for every flat note. But most of us are way more critical of ourselves than others are of us. Maybe others see us karaoke-style: soft lighting, holding a mic with the reverb turned up a little. 

The bigger the risk, the bigger the response.

In college, I was in the cast of a musical called The Mystery of Edwin Drood, a campy murder mystery in which the audience chooses “whodunit,” a different character each night. The show ran for two weekends, and when it started, I was pretty meek. Slowly I got comfortable enough to realize that if I really played up the melodrama, the audience would respond, meeting me in that over-the-top place. Sure enough, on closing night, my character was chosen as the murderer (which means an extra solo!). Karaoke is like that too. We really are social creatures, wired to mirror and respond to one another. It’s a mysterious paradox—the greater risk is to play small, because others will sense your tentative or lackluster energy and respond in kind. But frequently, if you really go for it, others will feel that, and send the vibe right back to you. 

Breathe.

There is no singing without breathing. Breathe well, breathe mindfully, breathe from way deep down. 

~

Your Turn

• Have you done karaoke? Do you have a go-to song? 

• Or, what have you done recently just for fun?