Disaster? Hug It Out.

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Why do you do the work you do?

I recently caught a replay of comedian Mike Birbiglia’s podcast Working it Out, in which he interviewed Stephen Colbert and asked that question. “I like being onstage with other people and working out the material together,” Stephen answered, “and it’s an act of love and friendship with the other person on stage. And if all else fails, I still like you and you still like me. And sometimes the greatest joy is the failure.”

Stephen recalled the exact day, the precise moment he chose to pursue comedy. He was in a sketch comedy show, and one night he was waiting in the wings to do a two-person improv scene. The scene right before his was called “Whales,” a silly bit that never failed to get a laugh. A woman would come on with a guitar, all hippy-dippy coffeehouse style and say, “I’d like to do this song for the whales.” Then she’d make a real show of tuning the guitar and getting ready… and then she’d start clicking, whistling, and moaning. You know… a song for the whales.

That night she did the whole bit as usual, but: no response from the audience. Everyone backstage was flabbergasted–this bit always kills, what’s up? All of a sudden she stopped and said, “Oh I forgot to tell you–this is for the whales.” Then she started up the clicks again, but still the audience sat in silence. Oops.

Stephen says:

Dave and I looked at each other, threw our arms out and hugged each other, like an A-frame lean-to. Our feet start to slide out away from each other, and we’re still holding on to each other, with tears running down our faces, wracked with laughter out loud, and we fall down still holding each other, in a lover’s embrace, with our feet onstage right behind her, and then she starts laughing because she realizes why we’re laughing at her, and the audience is still in complete silence, and the stage manager slowly brings the lights down.

And that is the actual second that I decided, I will do this for the rest of my life. If I can, I will do this for the rest of my life, because look at what this moment of failure was like. And how filled with joy we are to be with each other in this moment of absolute crashing disaster. It was wonderful and I thought, what a healthy way to live.

Mike Birbiglia: It is a healthy way to live. I think it’s a great metaphor for all things, which is that we’re all, to some degree with our wives and children and parents, we’re all failing to some degree, together, at all times.

Stephen: And the proper response is to hug the person next to you.

Mike: And eventually things fade to black. [laughter]

Stephen: So this is to say, what do we most want to be? Not alone. And so why am I onstage? Why do my show? So I won’t be alone. So I won’t feel alone. And for the audience, I want that too. I want them not to feel alone.

...The other day I (MaryAnn) reached out to some friends because I was feeling crushed by the Too Muchness. I said, “I need mojo, prayers, or GIFs.” They obliged with all three, and I cannot tell you what a difference their silly little messages made. An A-frame lover’s embrace across the miles.

The world is… well, it’s a lot of things right now, beautiful and intricate and hopeful despite the odds. But it’s also an absolute crashing disaster. Grab on to me, and I will grab on to you, so we won’t be alone.

Steady on.

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What I’m Up To

Everything and nothing. Steadying on is all!

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Link Love

The Ukrainians are consoling us.
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